5 things you SHOULD say to an infertile couple

When I get really down it seems like everyone vanishes from my life. I think that it’s cause I’m supposed to get help from other sources (Christ). Yet, I still forget to kneel down to pray for help during those times (anyone else like that?).

This particular time has been really hard. I vented to someone I thought who cared, and who would listen to me. Instead I received “help and support.”

I have read all over social media things you “SHOULDN’T” say to an infertile couple, but I wanted to be more positive and tell about things that you SHOULD say to an infertile couple.

Here are my 7 things you SHOULD say to a couple going through infertility:

“Do you need me to listen or give advice?”
People going through any hard thing sometimes just need a listening ear. They don’t need advice, unless they ask for it.

“Never give up, Never Surrender” 
Regardless of the saying, it just means to keep being hopeful, and don’t give up. In our weakest moments all we want to do is give up. I promise by praying to God and asking him for strength He will help us, one way or another.

“You guys are going to be the best parents…”
This is a great positive way of saying that it’s still possible that God will bless you with a child one way or another.

“Do you want to go running?”

Asking a friend if they want to go exercise really will help. Those endorphins are a great mood booster, even if the problem is still there after exercising. Just think Endorphins = Happiness.

“What can I do to help?”
Does your friend need help getting to a fertility appointment. Bringing over dinner after a fertility treatment (egg retrieval or embryo transfer). Pray for them. They will see they have a true friend and someone who cares for them if you ask what ways you can help them.

“Privately tell them about your pregnancy”
Call them on the phone or privately message them before you publicly announce it on social media, rather than letting them see it on Facebook or Instagram.

“Remember them on Mother’s and Father’s Day”
This is one of the HARDEST days to get through going through infertility. Dealing with infertility, you often feel alone and neglected on this day, and you see others getting praise for being a “Mom and a Dad” when that is all you ever want. Send a note saying that they love and appreciate you and that they can’t wait for you to be parents.

And last but not least…

“Remember, Remember, NEVER EVER say hurtful things”    
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” -Bambi

What are some things that you could say to your friends who are facing infertility?

What are some things friends have said that have helped you with hard days? 

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my Etsy Shop! I’ve been adding a lot of cute infertility awareness items.

strength is in the struggle shirt sold on Runwithinfertility Etsy shop


  1. Mei Y Paul

    December 19, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Thank you for writing this!! This is very helpful!!

  2. Kristin DiCristofano

    December 29, 2014 at 4:09 am

    I love this on so many levels! There are so many times people say "just stop trying", and I love that you suggested to say "don't give up". Mother's Day was the worst day of the year hands down for that very reason and how sweet that someone was able to take notice and make the day that much better for you. Thanks for sharing!

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