Things That are Starting IVF: Having Strength to Move Forward
The days following Embryo Transfer are known as the dreaded Two Week Wait (TWW), and you usually wait until your period starts or your hCG beta blood test. About 5 days (Friday) after Embryo Transfer I started getting period like cramps. I was scared to death and worried beyond belief, but there wasn’t any bleeding associated with my cramps. I went to bed paranoid that I was going to start my period (because it was scheduled to come that weekend). I prayed that I would keep the embabies we transferred. The next day I was fine until the afternoon, and I soon started spotting. I messaged a friend and she said to call the on-call nurse. The nurse said that spotting and cramping are normal, and not to be concerned, but she wanted to stay updated on what was going on with me and to call back tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning to find red blood all over my underwear and pad. Chase and I were devastated we thought for sure that I had lost the babies, and that my period had come. I was so upset. I called the nurse back and told her, she said that she bled a lot through one of her IVF cycles and thought the same thing. She said to call the clinic in the morning and see if they could get me in for an early test.
Chase and I both were upset enough that we asked for the day off. We relaxed, grieved and went to see a movie. I got a call back from my IVF coordinator and she wanted me to come in for a blood test in the morning.
Tuesday I had a hCG beta test, and yes, I was still bleeding, not as much, but still enough to have to wear a pad. I got a call later that day from my IVF coordinator, she said my hCG levels were at 11.5 (anything higher than a 5 is considered pregnant), she also said that it’s common to spot while on suppositories. My RE wanted to put me on progesterone in oil (PIO) shots in addition to the progesterone suppositories, and I would start the PIO shots the next day. The added progesterone was to help thicken my uterine lining, because I had lost a fair amount of blood.
I got a call from the pharmacy shortly after speaking to the clinic and had the PIO shots over nighted to me. Chase gave me his first ever shot in the behind. He hesitated for what seemed like 5 minutes. He finally ended up doing it, after my butt twitched and stung. Thankfully we both survived. My butt ached all night, but I knew that would happen. I read up on the PIO shots and tips and tricks to help with before, during and after injection.
I had my scheduled hCG beta test, and my numbers increased to 46! They quadrupled! Which definitely was a great sign. I was excited but told to be cautiously optimistic. We told our parents and they all seemed excited. That weekend I went with some friends down to St. George, and my friend ended up giving me my PIO shots! Alli is pretty great!
My next test was Monday morning, and my numbers went up to 132. I waited till Friday to get my next test. I tried to stay positive during that week. On Friday I got the call from our IVF coordinator, she said my hCG levels had gone down to 106. I called Chase in tears and he said he couldn’t stay at work. We both were devastated, and both in tears. The clinic wanted me to go in the next morning for an additional beta test. We were out to lunch with my parents when we got the call, it had dropped 1 point going down to 105. They wanted me to come back in on Monday for another test.
All weekend we tried to stay cautiously optimistic, and hope for the best. I started studying up on anything and everything that could give us hope, that maybe our numbers would increase again. And I couldn’t find anything.
After work on Monday I got a call from the clinic and my hCG level had dropped to 38. I was told I wasn’t pregnant anymore, and that I was having a miscarriage. I was told to stop all of my medications; which included baby aspirin, PIO and Progesterone Suppositories. I made it to roughly 6 weeks pregnant before miscarrying.
My coordinator told me I had a chemical pregnancy. I started researching chemical pregnancy with IVF and found this great article that helped explain that it had nothing to do with my body, but it had to do with the embryos being abnormal. I’m glad to know that I was able to at least get pregnant, even if it was only for a few weeks.
Because Chase and I believe in life after death, we know that we will be with our babies again, even if they were only with us for a few weeks, and let me tell you that they were so loved in those first few weeks. That was their test and trial, and now they are back in Heaven. It is so heartbreaking, we are so heartbroken, but I have been given strength through my friends and family (and many, many blessings) that we need to continue to move forward with faith, and that Heavenly Father loves us and will take care of us.
I cry every time I start thinking about what happened. I never thought I would have to experience any more pain and suffering after dealing with infertility. I thought that we would get pregnant with our first IVF cycle. I never thought I would have to endure a miscarriage, or even tell people I miscarried.
Since this has been an emotional roller coaster the past few weeks, I have shared little to nothing about what has been going on, mainly because I didn’t want to answer a lot of questions that I didn’t know the answer to. I also couldn’t bear sharing good news, and then the next minute share the bad news. We are not sure what the next step will be for us, but will continue to move forward in faith.
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