Things that are Disheartening Doctor News
Shortly after I got my big fat negative (BFN), Chase and I met back with our doctor. He sat us down and said that he was very sorry that this cycle didn’t work.
Unfortunately he didn’t have good news for us. At least for me anyways…
– My egg quality sucks
– There are 5 ways to bring a baby to our family; an egg donor, embryo adoption, adoption, sperm donor, our own embryos
– The Depo-Lupron shots didn’t work, they had a reverse affect (got 5 instead of the number increasing)
– My egg quality is probably well past its prime based on the number of follicles I had during this cycle
His recommendation was for us to either use an egg donor, adopt embryos, and/or adopt.
Basically, any direction we go I won’t have a biological child that is genetically linked to me. They can potentially be linked to Chase if we use an egg donor. Or not be linked at all if we adopt embryos or adopt a newborn baby. That has been extremely hard for me to process, and that has been extremely hard for me to understand. “Why me?,” “Why can’t I have children?,” is what I keep asking myself and praying about. Right now, I don’t know what God’s plans are for me and Chase, but what I have learned is that I still need to have faith that He will lead and guide us down the path we need to go.
I feel like my last few posts have been a bit negative. I guess this part of the journey is quite negative, and it’s sometimes so hard to stay positive for everyone when inside I feel like I’m breaking. Because it has been so negative the one positive out of all of this is that I have had SO much support these past few weeks. My friends and family have really made an effort with sending texts and tagging me with positive quotes of staying strong and keeping the faith. That has helped my attitude change (along with taking niacin again) and remembering that I need to have a deeper love and connection with God. Because He is ultimately the one that will help heal mine and Chase’s hearts.
And to leave you with a positive note here’s one of my favorite quotes: